The Old Joke Thread
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fredk
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
A pun. Another name for a napkin is a serviette; serviette / soviet
Al speling misteaks aer all mi own werk..
Its not just how good your painting is, its how good the touch-ups are too.
Its not just how good your painting is, its how good the touch-ups are too.
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fredk
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
So there I was standing in the bar having a drink.
An Oriental chappie comes in and starts to drink a Guiness.
I asked him ''So do you know any of those martial arts, like kung-fu or karate?''
''No'' says he ''did you assume I would because I'm Chinese''
''No'' says I '' its because thats my Guiness you're drinking''
An Oriental chappie comes in and starts to drink a Guiness.
I asked him ''So do you know any of those martial arts, like kung-fu or karate?''
''No'' says he ''did you assume I would because I'm Chinese''
''No'' says I '' its because thats my Guiness you're drinking''
Al speling misteaks aer all mi own werk..
Its not just how good your painting is, its how good the touch-ups are too.
Its not just how good your painting is, its how good the touch-ups are too.
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Zee28
- Modelling Gent and Scholar
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
What's the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist?
A rock guitarist plays three chords to thousands of people......
A rock guitarist plays three chords to thousands of people......
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Clashcityrocker
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
How can you tell the sommelier at a nudist colony?
He's the one with a semillon.
Nigel
He's the one with a semillon.
Nigel
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Narayan
- If anyone needs me, I'll be in my office
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
What's ET short for?
Coz he's got little legs.
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Narayan
Like a midget at a urinal I was going to have to stay on my toes.
A:B 2015 14:03 2014 21:04 2013 39:12 2012 20:05 2011 11:10 2010 44:12 2009 19:16 2008 16:03 Overall 267:70
Coz he's got little legs.
________________
Narayan
Like a midget at a urinal I was going to have to stay on my toes.
A:B 2015 14:03 2014 21:04 2013 39:12 2012 20:05 2011 11:10 2010 44:12 2009 19:16 2008 16:03 Overall 267:70
Re: The Old Joke Thread
Q/ What's the difference between a drum machine and a drummer?
A/ You only have to punch the beat into a drum machine once!
All the best.
Greg
A/ You only have to punch the beat into a drum machine once!
All the best.
Greg
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Albert Einstein
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Albert Einstein
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Zee28
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
Ooooh Greg, drummer jokes! Good call....
I knew it was the drummer knocking on my door because the knock speeded up.
How do you know when the stage is level? The drummer will dribble from both sides of his mouth.
What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
Why are drummers always losing their watches? Everyone knows they have trouble keeping time.
What do you call a beautiful woman on a drummer's arm? A tattoo.
I knew it was the drummer knocking on my door because the knock speeded up.
How do you know when the stage is level? The drummer will dribble from both sides of his mouth.
What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
Why are drummers always losing their watches? Everyone knows they have trouble keeping time.
What do you call a beautiful woman on a drummer's arm? A tattoo.
Re: The Old Joke Thread
Zee28 wrote:Ooooh Greg, drummer jokes! Good call....
I knew it was the drummer knocking on my door because the knock speeded up.
How do you know when the stage is level? The drummer will dribble from both sides of his mouth.
What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
Why are drummers always losing their watches? Everyone knows they have trouble keeping time.
What do you call a beautiful woman on a drummer's arm? A tattoo.
Any more
All the best.
Greg (Who used to play drums, many moons ago
)Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Albert Einstein
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Albert Einstein
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AndrewR
- In the basement lab
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, “Olive or twist?".
Up in the Great White North
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Clashcityrocker
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
What's the difference between a sharp dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?
A tyre
A tyre
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Clashcityrocker
- Modelling Gent and Scholar
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for the fresh prints.
Nigel
Look for the fresh prints.
Nigel
Re: The Old Joke Thread
I like that one. A joke you don't get for a second then it hits you and you have to smile!. Thought it was going to be racist at first!, sorry, shouldn't think like that but with the world today...Clashcityrocker wrote:How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for the fresh prints.
Nigel
Hoping to return to modelling sometime this year!! 
Owner of Marky's Model Emporium since 2013!.
Owner of Marky's Model Emporium since 2013!.
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Zee28
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
I'd had a good night out in town and I'd had an awful lot to drink so, being sensible, I decided to leave the car and take the bus.
I arrived home safely, which was quite impressive bearing in mind that I'd never driven a bus before.....
I arrived home safely, which was quite impressive bearing in mind that I'd never driven a bus before.....
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AndrewR
- In the basement lab
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
The barman said "Sorry mate, we don't serve time travellers here".
A time traveller walked into a bar.
A time traveller walked into a bar.
Up in the Great White North
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Clashcityrocker
- Modelling Gent and Scholar
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
My mate asked me, 'Can you stop singing Oasis songs?'
I said maybe
Nigel
I said maybe
Nigel